Time has been a weird concept for me to grasp lately. How could it seem that nine months was going to seem like such a long time when now I’m here at home looking back wondering where did it all go. The moments I thought would never end are now mere memories that replay in my head constantly. There are days where it seems like those memories are better than the now, its easier to get lost in them thinking about what used to be instead of what is now.
Now is hard because the inevitable happened and that is the season that I once was in has come to a quick end. Its been a bittersweet end. I say bittersweet because as much as it has been a beautiful journey, it has also been a journey of hardship. A year ago this time I was at training camp, I was so unsure what I was about to step into. My heart was so conflicted as I sat in a room full of strangers wondering if I was doing the right thing. I had no idea what was about to hit me or should I say overcome my heart.
Between this time last year and today my heart has been radically transformed, a love that I didn’t even know existed completely took over me. Everything in me was filled with this overwhelming extravagant love that is sourced from only one thing which is Jesus.
I have been broken into pieces, shaken and put back together again. This last season has been the start of healing of brokenness I didn’t even know was within me. The strangers that surrounded me a year ago are now family to me. My respect and unconditional love for people grew exponentially. The smallness I once felt has now been replaced with confidence and boldness like none other. My eyes used to be so focused on one thing that I could never fully see the entire picture, my sight is clearer now. The box I used to put God in is now gone, now he’s been placed in a field with the ability to do what ONLY he can do. I know now I can’t limit what he can do or use and even change in the midst of despair because I’ve seen first hand all that he is capable of which is more than we can possibly know or imagine.
It took a radical change in my life to radically change me. It gave me the ability to see what I really needed the most. When I was alone, uncomfortable and hurting my dependence was completely on the Lord. That’s what made me stronger, it wasn’t the adventure of traveling that personally grew me, it was going away from all that I knew into unknown territory. Traveling was just the bonus. It was in my most vulnerable states that I grew the most. My purpose for leaving for nine months to travel was to share this love but ironically in doing so I was taught by the people we served what this love really was. See I thought I knew what it was but it was so much more.
Now that this season is over I am figuring out how to process and move forward. Honestly moving on has been tough but recently I have felt the Lord speaking to me that this next season will be a season of rest and a lot of goodness.
After much prayer and a little bit of debating with the Lord I have decided to commit to CGA (center for Global Action). CGA is is a leadership and discipleship program designed to equip young adults to lead and pursue their passions wherever they may go. It is geared to help young adults to find their kingdom calling so that wherever they go they can be a light.
CGA is five months, it will begin in August and end in December of 2018. This program is through adventures in missions. I will be living in community in Gainesville GA while I have a part time job so that I can go out and put what I am learning to work in my community. In total CGA is $5,950 for the entire 5 months which I will be fundraising.
This has been a a difficult season for me figuring out my next steps but I am confident that this is exactly where the Lord is leading me. I found it difficult at first because my pride was getting in the way but after letting the walls down I know that this is the community and place where the Lord wants to continue to pour into me. After discovering my deep passion for people and the church body over these past nine months I know that I will be going to the right place. My hope for going to CGA is that I will leave with a clearer vision of how the Lord has called me to serve Him in a more distinct area of ministry.
As I go into this next season I am dependent on him that he will provide all that I need. He is always good and never failing. My world race journey may have ended but he is taking me on a new one and if your reading this I invite you to become a part of this journey too. If you have it in your spirit to donate any amount is helpful. My first deadline is $2000 by August 17th. You can donate through this blog. If you can’t financially support me all is well. You can support me by being in prayer for myself and my class as we prepare for this.
Here is to New seasons, new seeds being planted and new lessons to be learned. My excitement for all the Lord is going to do is over the top. Thank you for being a part of something much bigger than what we can see with our own eyes!!
Much love,
Megan Allen
