How are you???
This one question can either transform your life or do nothing for you at all. Three words hold such power to them that so many so often use to lightly. We have transformed this question that can be such a valuable tool to go deeper into our hearts into a conversation filler. When we ask this question we forget the importance behind it, the value, and so often we don’t mean it at all.
I can’t tell you the amount of times someone has asked me how are you but I knew deep down they didn’t really care to know. It has become a friendly thing to say instead of an intentional loving thing to say. The significance and caring has been wiped away when we ask this today. In todays time we just walk around so oblivious to what others are walking through but that isn’t the only problem. So many people are to scared to truly open up and be vulnerable but why is this.
Even when someone ask how are you, do we ever actually open up about how we really are. I want to think we don’t because of a few different factors.
First things first our culture lacks trust on the most shallow level there is. If we can not trust others with the smallest of things how must we trust them with something bigger than that like our deepest selves. Just as the Lord trust us with the small things, Luke 16:10, we should be able to trust others. How can I open up to someone about what keeps me up at night and my biggest fears when they cant even stay true to their word and commitments. How do I open up when the care and genuine love isn’t really there. How do I express myself when in todays society our selves seem to never be quite good enough so how do I share that with others.
Many times for me when I am asked this question I won’t answer the way that I actually feel because as humans we aren’t always the best at showing that we genuinely care for another person. We can be very good at putting on a façade and acting as if our attention is on that person. I know this because I have done it. I’m not perfect in fact far from it and still trying to work on myself daily. I also know that I’m not alone in this. Honestly as humans we are awful at genuine care and intentionality because of who we are and the ways in which we have grown up which is in a me focused society.
It’s almost as if in our society we only ever see surface level and to go deeper than that is not always excepted. It can sometimes seem as if your burdening others or just plain crazy. It is natural to hide and not be honest with where we are truly at because facing those struggles are terrifying and messy. I would like to think that not many people acknowledge how they really are deep deep down. We also will give out only what we think others want to hear and in many cases that isn’t the hard things or even the really great things. I don’t always believe that we give others the time of day to really talk to us, to feel comfortable and seen.
It seems that most people think that to be intentional with another human we must be in a sense already close and connected but what if we used genuine intentionality as a tool to get connected with others. Our relationships would grow and be built on a solid foundation of truth, purpose and authenticity from the very beginning. This would change our lives and we would be able to see as the father sees and loves us. Before we were ever born he was thinking and intentionally creating us to fulfill a purpose and calling.
Intentionality is incredibly beautiful, it can be transforming and even redeeming at times. Honestly our society does not know intentionality or vulnerability. I think we often choke when it comes to these things because its not such a normal thing to do or welcomed in our lives. Without it we begin to feel lonely, unseen and unknown because what we truly feel is never expressed. Who we truly are is never exposed to the world and that’s not how its meant to be.
We were created to be seen, known and loved by one another and by the father. The father has uniquely created us to connect with others on a level that most of us never really reach. When we start to walk in love and how the Lord sees us our eyes will begin to change to see how we view others and the care will start to be expressed.
The Lord is intentional with us in every single detail from the smallest to the largest of things knowing and always caring. He consistently speaks into the deepest parts of my soul that I never even knew were there or hurting. What if we had this mindset, what if we changed our perspective on this sentence, how are you and instead of throwing it around with no care we intentionally focused our time and care for another person. What if we asked this question with expectance to go deeper and further into our selves with each conversation we dove into. It could change the way we see and love another person. It could change our perspectives tremendously and change the way we value others and their time. Here’s another suggestion, what if instead of answering with a surface level answer we actually opened up and trusted another person. I think when we do this we actually in return give a safe space for others to open up as well. It surprisingly seems to work both ways.
Since I am talking about intentionality I want to be intentional with you about where I am at and how I truly am. I believe it is so incredibly important for you that are supporting me or thinking about supporting me to know just where I am. My focus right now in the start of this season has really been on intentionality not only to be intentional with others but with my own self to know where I really am.
I moved to Gainesville Ga a week ago and I’m already learning more about myself and honestly the really scary parts. Its only been a few days but I can see that this is about to push me further than I could ever really know. My heart has already been so filled up and my mind is already wandering and spinning. Self awareness is about to be a big thing in my life and I am starting to walk in a lot of it.
If I am being honest transition is very hard and I have been doing a lot of it this past year but it is pushing me to depths I didn’t know before. It is forcing me to be bold and I am walking in freedom since transitioning to a new community. I have just left a community that before the race I felt connected and involved in but after returning I found myself extremely lonely and distant. I have felt in a sense lost.
However since I just moved to Gainesville within a week I have felt loved, poured into and genuinely seen. However I will be honest and super vulnerable, I am actually so scared to trust others and I have heard the lie over and over again that I am just not good enough or there is something wrong with me that I just cant see. The past recently has been lingering in my mind reminding me of all the times I had been hurt or even hurt others. The crazy thing I am reminded of is that the Lord has redeemed me and the lies don’t belong or identify who I am. That is good news! There are some days where lies are so loud that it is hard to hear the truth but that doesn’t discount what is still there. There are days when I get so frustrated with fundraising because the money isn’t coming in and I wonder if this is what I should be doing but I’m saying that I truly trust the Lord that he is a provider!
With all the things it can be easy to get caught up in all the lies but even in the midst of all the crazy transitions, he is still good. Since being at CGA these were some things the Lord has really been high lighting in my life about community and what it looks like to be intentional with one another. If I am being honest this is taking me a lot of boldness to post this because the fear of what others might think about it.
I trust the father that he is good and can change lives through words. So the next time you ask someone how they are, truly mean it. And the next time someone ask you how you are be willing to open up because beautiful things can happen when a heart is open.
